A couple days before Christmas, I was on my second glass of wine, and having a nervous breakdown about my upcoming life. My ma, known as “Mama Rex” to most people, simply asked, “So, what’s your plan?”, and, like any normal reaction a person drinking wine would have, I burst into tears.
I am about to graduate college. Yeah. College.
Back in high school, while panicking about leaving home and taking on this over marketed rite-of-passage in life, “real life” seemed so far away. You know, the working a 9-5 job, paying bills, getting dogs, kind of life. But now, four years later but actually feeling like one, I had to start thinking of that life. Eek.
It took me changing my major four times to realize what I wanted to do. And a lot happened between those four changes. For a while I was an a Capella fiend. Everything I did was aca-themed. I beat-boxed in the shower and harmonized with every song on the radio and with every noise that had a tone, like the copier machine and the neighbors vacuuming upstairs. All my friends sang and or were a part of an aca group. We even did the “drunkapella” parties and cocktails–the whole shebang.
But, after a couple of years of aca everything and drama, I quit. All of it.
I met a boy.
I moved out.
I made new friends.
Oh, and I founded a journal.
I spent four months writing Bylaws and Constitutions for this journal. I worked with a team to build an online voice and a campaign. I learned new programs and designed a journal I had been dreaming of, but never took the time to create, because I was too busy creating harmonies.
When I held the printed copy of the journal (The Fictioneer, and now recognized UNH student organization known as, Scriptor) in my hands, I knew what I finally wanted. I wanted to write and I wanted to publish.
But now, working as a writer for a video game, as a copy editor and marketing manager for a writer, and still running my journal as Editor-in-Chief, I am terrified of stepping onto that bright green AstroTurf to flip my tassel from the right to the left.
Where am I going to live?
What am I going to do?
How am I going to pay?
Should I be thinking about getting more serious with my partner?
These are all questions I started asking myself while looking at my Christmas tree through tears and gulping down wine.
So, I am planning to rebel.
I have never strayed too far from my comfort zone. I haven’t traveled farther south than South Caroline, or farther west than New York. I have never been out of the country or on a plane. I have never strayed out of my normal hair cut. I have worn the same glasses for years, never changing it up. I am a stickler with food. I like what I like and shy away from change.
But change is what I need.
The first step to my self imposed rebellion was to get new glasses and new hair. I did it. And you know what? I feel AWESOME. It was such a simple change, yet I feel like an entirely different person.
I want to keep changing. I want to do something stupid. I want to challenge myself. Move somewhere different. Go on a road trip. Travel across the world. I want to experience something.
Every step outside of my comfort zone is a HUGE step for me.
This blog is going to follow my journey of rebelling adulthood while still trying to tackle it.
Wish me luck!